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Rehtul Orlouge
06-24-15, 05:30 PM
“Still a little wet behind the ears.”

That horrible pun haunted Rehtul’s memories as he paced across the deck of the giant ship, waiting for his opponent to show up. How could anyone on the face of the planet find these puns funny in even the most remote way? A scowl crossed his face as he considered ways to freeze the annoying monk’s blood and impale him with the frozen fluid.

A deep breath escaped through his lips as he considered the arena he had found himself in. The ship that he stood upon was leaning at an odd angle, having run up some large rocks that were jutting out in the middle of the ocean. It was solid, and didn’t appear that it would be going anywhere until the wood had significantly rotted.

“Knowing the monks here at the Citadel, that’ll never happen,” he muttered under his breath. Around the ship were pillars of rock jutting up from the waves below, each of varying heights. The young man looked them up and down. They were solid, but hard to access without some method of reaching them. He considered the options, but couldn’t really think of any reason to go that far into the sky unless he was really looking to have the long range advantage on a short range opponent.

Sounds like it wouldn’t be a lot of fun, though... more like shooting fish in a barrel, he thought. His eyes scanned the horizon for any other built in traps or natural hazards. He narrowed his eyes at the darkness on the horizon.

A storm?

The clouds billowing on the horizon were as black as night, and were steadily growing closer. It became apparent the more he looked around that this was a hazard arena, one that was designed to test people on how they handled the environment and each other. A sigh escaped his lips as he propped himself up against one of the rigging nets.

A black look crossed his face as he looked up at the flag above the crow’s nest. It was the Raiaeran flag, though a really old version that the young man had only ever seen in history books. He could only theorize that it was based upon a design that had been out of favor with the government of the country a few hundred, perhaps even thousand, years ago.

“This is troublesome. I’m sitting here on a derelict ship that’s leaning at an angle with a storm coming in. I need to prepare for this,” he said. He rolled up his sleeves and pulled on the belts halfway up his arm, locking them in place around his elbows, where the long, flowing garment wouldn’t be able to obstruct any intricate hand movements he would have to make.

He reached deep into the pockets of his newest snow white robe and produced a pair of white leather gloves that he had recently acquired from the Bazaar and slipped them on.

“Let’s see if these things resist the elements as easily as I was told by that shop keeper.”

He extended his left hand out to his side and drew the water from around the ship into a long shape before grasping the water and watching out of the corner of his eye as it instantly solidified into a long bladed spear in his hand. He gave it a couple of trial swings before smiling.

“Excellent. Not even the smallest discomfort from handling the weapon,” he said triumphantly.

Flamebird
06-24-15, 10:25 PM
Ashla was clearly the type of person to teach someone to swim... by pushing them into the water. Well, that was the way she learned herself. "The best way to learn is through experience. Why not take a spin around Corone's Citadel and see what it's like?"

Felicity was happy to follow orders.

So now, the redhead was just stepping onto the docks of an uneven ship. Felicity took a look around, the ship seemed... old... and archaic... and boring... and old.

Felicity found the waters the ship dangled across a lot more interesting. She peered over the edge, her ponytail dangling, as she watched the waters shake. For a moment, she looked at her reflection; green eyes, fair skin, stupid forehead... even if it wasn't nearly as pushed out as her neanderthal kin, Felicity noticed her slightly narrowed brow. Felicity focused her attention on the growing waves, then to the sky above. It looked like some form of bad weather was approaching.

Felicity briefly made a check on her equipment. Flamberge, check. Arming swords, check. Heater shield, check. Confidence, recklessness, and sense of humor... totally check.

The girl turned to the steps below and jumped down, her sandals making quite the sound against the moaning, oak boards. The halfing tightened the wrappings on her arms and legs before continuing across the ship's deck to find... her opponent.

He stuck out against the bland, brown ship like the coolest thing ever. His white hair, tipped with blue, caught Felicity's interest instantly. He looked like a fit opponent. Felicity smirked, completely ready for the adrenaline bursts he provided.

She lifted her hand in a wave, "Yo!" Felicity called. She started to walk up to him, "Fewicity Knopsnida's my name! You?" She stopped several yards away from the man, taking her mentor's training into mind. "Keep your distance until you know what they're capable of. Maintain enough of a posture they'll take you seriously."

The apprentice stiffened her posture into something more formal, but still kept her smirk up. She was clearly excited about the fight, but tried to juggle her training into play as she observed her opponent's every word and action.

Rehtul Orlouge
06-24-15, 11:27 PM
Rehtul couldn’t help but smile as he watched his opponent give the ship a look over with a bored expression on her face. She had just shown up through the same magic that he had, transported to this alternate reality where warriors came to fight and die. Rehtul had almost grasped what made this such an addictive experience in the world of Althanas, though he was still unsure what the final goal was of people who came here.

There were betting areas, battles where people could be ranked according their number of victories and who they won against, ranked battles. He could tell that people enjoyed being able to fight and conquer in this place, where death was little more than a figment that could easily be wiped away by a monk who asked for nothing in return except for further patronage to the Citadel, or in Rehtul’s case, to continue listening to barely there inane humor that even people who love puns would groan over.

“Perhaps this is their way of extracting the aggression necessary to win here in the Citadel,” he muttered under his breath as the woman finally approached him and introduced herself.

Did... she just say “Fewicity”? he thought to himself. He mentally shrugged off the woman’s odd way of speaking and bowed, his eyes never leaving hers.

“A pleasure, Miss Knopsnider,” he said, ignoring the pronunciation of her first name. A friendly looked passed over his face as he drove the head of his spear into the planks of wood between them, sending a hand full of splinters into the air. He looked the woman over from head to toe for a moment, unsure quite what to think of her. Her red hair, if you believe that hair color could determine a person’s personality, marked her as being a fiery, passionate individual. Sadly, Rehtul was unused to such things.

Her green eyes showed a hint of intelligence, but still just enough naivety to mark her as a child. She looked barely older than fifteen, maybe a late blooming sixteen tops.

What the hell are the monks thinking, letting someone this young into the Citadel? he thought bitterly. There was, apparently, a downside to the “all are welcome” philosophy of the Order of Ai’bron. It looked like even children were allowed to play at being warriors here.

Sighing, Rehtul finally spoke up to introduce himself.

“My name is Rehtul Orlouge, of the Orlouge Clan of Mystics. I’m... well, as you can see,” he said as he pulled his spear from the ground and held it up to the light. As the light glinted off of the bright blue ice that he held in his hands, he continued, “I’m an Elemental Mage specializing in ice magic.”

He walked up to the small young woman and tried his best to put his word in a non-patronizing way, “If you want to back out, now’s the time to do it. You came in here knowing what could possibly happen to you. If you didn’t, you can be inflicted with a lot of pain and even experience death here. It’s not pleasant.” He shuddered. “Trust me, I’d know.”

He looked down the bridge of his nose directly into the emerald eyes of the young woman and asked, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Flamebird
06-25-15, 12:08 AM
Felicity, at first, was a bit hurt. Clearly this man underestimated her. Yes, she was a rookie in the field, but pain was nothing to someone who got get stronger by each bleeding hit. The waves of the ocean started to grow stronger; seemingly signifying the storm this "Mr. Orlouge" was coming up against. Felicity directly stared him down his blue eyes, unafraid. Pain, abuse, hate... she dealt with it as a toddler. She was unbreakable, as this man would unfortunately find out.

"I'm positive."

The apprentice took several steps back, giving him a slight bow, before drawing her twin swords. She joined them together, forging a swordstaff, and marched up to him, smile fading. She had people treat her like that, like some useless little girl, before. Don't judge someone before you know them!

The planks slightly creeked under her sturdy steps. A single rain drop fell between them before Felicity barred her weapon in front of her. She began swiping the linked swords at him, one blade at a time. She utilized her training; light footed, ready to dodge, keeping one side of the weapon available for defense if needed. Determined not to only prove herself to this guy, but to make her mentor proud, Felicity began her series of strikes.

More rain steadily began to fall. It was now apparent that a storm was coming. Felicity focused on the task at hand, wielding her weapon with two hands, as a drizzle of rain fell upon the two. The atmosphere of this setting seemed to even smell wet at this rate, although the rain kept itself as a sprinkle. Felicity kept herself focused on one goal though: hitting Orlouge.

The halfling activated another feature on her weapon. The two blades began to spin. Spin like a fan. The young girl smirked as the weapon produced a spinning sound. She aimed an upper cut at his face now, leaving her body defended by nothing but her brigandine and mirror armor. She pulled her weapon down, hoping to score even a small point.

Rehtul Orlouge
06-25-15, 12:30 AM
Seemed the woman was indeed serious after all, and a serious contender. As she responded to him, he could feel years of pain and suffering hidden behind her voice, a dark past that few her age would have ever experienced.

Thank the Thayne, Rehtul thought as he considered that more young people could have gone through what she had in her life. No one that young should be that fearless in the face of battle. It was frightening to think of what she had to go through at her age to make her so hardened and fearless in the face of a challenge like the Citadel.

That or she’s way more naïve than I thought. Oh well, we’ll have to see.

The young Mystic watched as the girl stepped back from him and drew a pair of twin swords. In watching Knights under his uncle’s command training with the weapons, he knew them to be extremely tricky to wield without proper experience and training, which is why the young man tended toward solid weapons that could only be used in a single direction. He knew he would never master anything too terribly complex, at least not without having to cut back his research into the magics of the world.

It was a tough truth, but his own weapons of ice made sure he wasn’t entirely unable to defend himself in close quarters, which the young lady seemed to excel at, based on her gear. As if the double blades weren’t bad enough, thunder began to crackle overhead and rain began to slowly drip from the sky, picking up in tempo ever so slightly with each passing second. The young ice mage could feel each individual drop reducing his options for mobility. His heavy cotton robes weighed him down and the wooden deck beneath them would be slick.

“Damn,” he said under his breath as the girl brought her two weapons together, creating a swordstaff, something the young man had never once encountered in his entire life.

A pair of blades extending on either side, fused together at the hilts... That’s ingenious. Looks dangerous to learn, though. I imagine it caused her quite a lot of pain before she became proficient with this thing, he thought as she took a pair of swipes at him with it. He backed up slowly and dodged to either side with the first two swipes.

As she continued to press the attack, he brought his own weapon in between her own blades and his body, blocking to either side and using his weapon as a shield. As the assault continued, she finally slipped through a hole in his defenses, opening up a gash in his left side, right over his ribs.

A sharp breath was the only satisfaction the young girl would be able to get from this, as Rehtul had finally had enough. With a grimace, he tossed the spear aside, not bothering to pay attention as the magic holding it together faded and allowed it to return to mere water, falling onto the deck with the rest of the rain as it picked up into a torrent of epic proportions.

Through the soles of his shoes, the young Mystic focused the energy of his ice magic. Mist began forming around the man as his magic worked itself upon the water surrounding the two combatants. As the woman’s final upswing with the spinning blade came at him, he jumped back and clenched his fist tightly.

A wall of ice, about an inch thick, sprouted up between the two combatants, repelling the final assault of the woman’s combo. As Rehtul’s feet touched the ground a couple of feet back from the ice wall, he lost his footing and slipped on the now wet algae that had built up on the deck during the years of sitting out at sea.

“Oh shit!” he screamed as he slid down the deck and hit the wall of ice with his side. Grumbling to himself as his blood slowly mixed with the rain and soaked into the wooden deck, he motioned with his hand at the wall between the two of them, causing it to shatter and throw dozens of small, razor sharp shards of ice at the young woman.

With great effort, he finally managed to stand once more, gripping his side with a glowing hand. The wound slowly closed just enough to stop the bleeding, and he smiled.

“That was... interesting,” he said.

Flamebird
06-25-15, 12:46 PM
Felicity was surprised when a wall of ice separated her from Orlouge. Further more, her weapon had been caught in the frozen water. Felicity switched off the spinning mechanism, hoping the weapon wasn't ruined. Another thing she didn't expect: the ice wall to form spikes. The rain drops meshed with the ice as it shot towards her.

Felicity blinked out, seemingly going out of complete existence for a short time. In the blink, she was allowing the ice to fly through nothing... most of it anyways. She couldn't hold after three seconds, and was unable to dodge a final one that sharply cut her cheek. For a brief moment, the girl felt pain. However, the pain was replaced by... strength.

She was completely able to ignore the blood running down her face, dripping from her chin. The girl tightened her fists. Now empty handed, the girl pulled one hand up to the hilt of her two handed sword, hanging on her back. She walked down the deck, stepping between the ugly algae as rain continuously fell. The halfling's curiosity had been pricked at the ice user. Her mentor, Ashla, had the ability to use ice within her blood. How someone else could use it, if not through the Icebreaker bloodline, the kid wanted to know.

She walked up to man in about fifteen seconds. Her eyes were bright in questioning. As the Orlouge rubbed his head, the apprentice pondered, "My mentow uses ice... how do you?"

Here, she pulled out her flamberge, putting it into front of her using both her arms. She waited for him to get up as the rain pounded against the wooden beams. Lightning cracked above them, but it only caught the kid's attention for a moment before looking at her opponent again. By now, Felicity was soaked. With her berserk rage amplifying her pain tolerance though, it was the most uncomfortable thing she had to deal with at that moment.

Rehtul Orlouge
06-25-15, 06:43 PM
Rehtul watched in silence as the woman stood before him, her blade stuck in the remainder of the ice wall that he had summoned forth. Surprisingly, she let the weapon go and fished out her secondary, a giant sword that was strapped to her back. Surprisingly, she seemed undeterred by the damage his magic had done to her body. If anything, it appeared to invigorate her, to make her stronger.

I’ve heard of magic like this, but I detected no bending of the world’s natural energies when this happened. There’s usually something, a faint humming, a glow to the air, but this... this is something different.

His eyebrows raised as the woman ignored her injuries, and a slight scowl crossed his face. To think that a young woman, a girl of such slight size would be able to shrug off so many blows as though they were little more than mosquito bites. She then proceeded to question him, in her slightly lilting and mispronouncing way.

“I... Your mentor... uses ice magic?” he finally managed to spit out as the woman’s eyes looked him over, not an ounce of pain to be found. He held a single hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose, bringing in a deep breath and finally releasing it in a cloud of mist.

“How do I explain? Though, perhaps...”

White gloved hands rose into the air, the conductor of the realm of winter preparing for his most elegant symphony yet. White mist coalesced around his hands as the temperature around his body dropped. His arms went limp and fell to his sides. The mist surrounding him flew out in all directions, enveloping the two combatants before surrounding them.

“I doubt you’ve ever seen anything quite like this,” he whispered. Around the two of them, the water on the ground and in the air seemed to stand still for a few precious seconds. The sounds around the two of them all but ceased save for the breath of the two combatants.

A smile crossed the young man’s hand as he endeavored to show the true depth of everything he had learned over the course of his studies, the intricacies involved in controlling the beautiful, misunderstood element known as ice. The element he had been drawn to, the one that his father had first deigned to teach him after he passed his Trials, the Mystic rite of passage into adulthood.

Tendrils of liquid shot up around them, weaving themselves into intricate patterns. Pentagrams, hexagrams, flowers, suns, moons, and stars surrounded the two of them on all sides, connected by thin, beautiful stems that looked more reminiscent of the waves of the violent ocean. Finally, the Mystic clenched his hands into fists and the entire construct froze over around them, creating a gilded cage of ice eight feet tall and twenty feet wide.

“I use ice magic, like I said earlier. I am a mage of ice. I use skills I developed by learning from teachers, trainers, and books to perfect my art. It took a few years, but as you can see I have quite a bit of agency with the skill,” he said simply as he waited for the woman to respond.

Flamebird
06-28-15, 02:21 PM
Felicity watched in childlike awe as Orlouge created ice like he was painting a portrait. His style of ice was not like her mentor's. Ashla used her ice as a full scale weapon, making it in sturdy walls, poles, and weapons that signified pure strength and a refusal to loss. Orlouge though, he had style. He made beautiful images of snowflakes and delicate beams. He certainly had skill!

Felicity's awe steadily turned into fear though. The ice went on to develop a cage. Just as her unusual panic started to boil, the pain in her cheek returned, her boosted strength subdued. In shook, the tip of her now shaking sword fell to the ground. Felicity immediately saw and pulled the weapon up again in a tight defense. Her eyes portrayed a fear that drew way back into her childhood: confinement.



~~~


"You! Neanderthal scum!"

A toddler, still struggling to walk steadily, had been sought out and was being dragged off by some stranger. The grown man, hooded and cloaked, struck such fear into the redhead he yanked across the snowy and muddy ground.

The child cried out, "Wet me go!"

The man, surprisingly, threw her onto the ground. The young girl was half freezing, her orange dress doing little to protect her in the white snow. Below them was the solid rock of the chunk of mountain they lived on. The man's voice, heartless and stern, caused her the cry out, "Get up!"

With the best of her abilities, the little girl pulled herself to her vibrating feet. She looked up at the dark man with green eyes full of terror and fear, what did he want with her?

The man cast her a dirty look before walking over to something she hadn't even seen before, a underground storage tank. He scowled back at the girl, who was now crying clean tears, shedding a mucky face.

He didn't seem like he could care less, "Neanderthal scum like you don't deserve to live. You only are alive right now cause you're a stupid half breed!"

The girl took a step back, pulling her messy hands into her mouth.

"So if I can't kill ya," the man cruelly spoke, "I'll just lock your burdensome existence away 'til ya rot!"

The girl screamed as the man walked up to her and grabbed her arm. In the next several seconds that passed, he tossed the child into the storage unit and closed the door.

It was so dark, she couldn't see her hands in front of her face.

She felt the ground. It was covered in hay. It smelled moldy and dirty. Who knew what was kept in here. The child remained silent, tears falling for several seconds, before she screamed in terror and bawled like never before.



~~~


Felicity had been rescued after the course of two days from her uncle, but the happening had shook her to the core. Felicity watched as the entire ship was being locked inside the ice cage. In a sudden burst of emotion, the teenager shouted, raising her sword and racing towards her opponent. "Stop!"

Rehtul Orlouge
06-28-15, 04:36 PM
Awe, appreciation, dumb shock... fear. Rehtul watched with increasing interest, and then sorrow, as these emotions flew across his opponent’s face in rapid succession. He did not know what caused the young woman to feel this way.

Unless... the cage!

As the young woman rushed at him, yelling stop, he sidestepped her rush and frowned. He didn’t want to use psychological warfare, the tactic of weak minds. A sigh escaped his lips as he slid his foot on the slick wood beneath him and pressed both of his hands against the floor, willing the energy of the world through the nexus at the core of his soul and into the floor and up to the cage. Fine cracks appeared in the ice, except for one bar, which he reached out and easily gripped in one hand while leaning against another bar for support while he focused.

A sigh escaped his lips as he began to cause the cracks to grow wider and attempt to shatter it. As he closed his eyes to finish his spell work, he felt a force enter his body and break his concentration. His vision was shaken, white and stark, unable to see anything but an endless void. He opened his mouth to freak out, but couldn’t hear anything but his heart beating in his ears at what felt like one thousand beats per minute. He sunk to his knees and felt the ground beneath him with each gloved hand.

What the hell was that? Could she have access to spells that rob a person of their senses? he thought. Slowly his vision cleared and he looked up with a grimace. He looked at his hands, and all seemed well. He patted himself and suddenly realized he could feel the rain licking at his skin, above the spot he’d rolled his sleeves up. His eyes followed the sensation and his eyes opened wide in shock. A scorch mark about the size of a child’s fist had torn open his shirt.

The young man coughed hoarsely and took several ragged breaths before attempting to speak.

“Ah... aaaah. By the Thayne, what the hell just happened to me?” he asked. He reached for his chest and took a deep break of fresh air and salt water. His body shook from the force that robbed him of his sight and hearing. His eyes were hazy and unfocused, and he could feel every inch of his body screaming out in protest as he attempted to continue the battle.

As his thoughts began to focus, he looked around himself, and he saw nothing but water and more rain hitting the deck of the ship. His entire cage, including the part he had planned to keep for himself as a makeshift weapon, was nowhere to be found. He could see nothing but the water splashing on the sodden deck and the clouds floating in the sky above, with occasional flashes of lightning.

No... way... he thought as he looked up into the skies above.

“Did I just get struck by lightning?”

Flamebird
06-29-15, 03:23 PM
Felicity had been consumed with high tide fear. She was relieved when the ice shattered... her relief turned to horror though when she realized why.

Her opponent was on the floor, struck by lightning.

Felicity instantly tossed her sword aside, racing up to Orlouge. Yes, he had underestimated her. Yes, he has frightened her. However, he was still a living being with thoughts and emotions - like her. Felicity was deeply damaged from her abuse as a child, but she learned several things from it... one of them being to treat others as she wanted to be treated.

The redhead knelt down and felt his pulse, "Awe you gonna be okay?" She asked.

Her cheek was still bleeding, and the rain battering her did not help. Another thing was taking over her though. She felt numb. The ice was pulling her deeper and deeper into a freezing stillness. The apprentice shook her damp head and clearly asked again, "Awe you okay?"

Felicity didn't know what to do. Was it okay to move someone who was struck by lightning? Ashla always told her to proceed with caution. What could the kid do though? Her panic rose again as thunder crackled in the distance. She felt the waves shake the unstable ship. The rain made it harder and harder to see ahead. Felicity choked before looking down on the injured Orlouge again. "I'm going to stop the match..."

Rehtul Orlouge
06-29-15, 04:02 PM
A grim look crossed Rehtul’s face as he watched the torrential rain continue to fall, now coming in sheets, wiping the deck clean. This wasn’t just some normal arena where you could use the surrounding area to your advantage. He pushed himself up onto his feet, motioning for the young woman to move aside just enough so that he could have a little breathing room. Silence hung as she proclaimed that she was going to call an end to the match. The mystic of ice merely looked at her sideways with a half hearted smile.

He sank back on his legs and crossed them beneath him, breathing slowly in an out as he tried to get his mind straight. Things had not been going quite right since the beginning of this battle; that was for sure. First he’d defended then attacked, like any normal person would in these circumstances.

“Damn... this is not how I envisioned this battle going,” he said, barely suppressing a chuckle that the woman, who had been his opponent, his rival up until the lightning strike, had decided to have enough compassion to allow herself to call of the battle because she was worried about his well being. It was touching, at the very least.

The young man grabbed the burn mark on his shoulder tenderly and focused the energy of his light magic into the wound, alleviating the pain enough that he at least would be able to move his arm. With that small annoyance out of his senses, he smiled lightly and conjured a walking stick of ice from the water pooled around his legs. He pushed himself up and leaned upon the thing, struggling at this point to keep his balance after his entire system had been fried by the lightning.

“I can’t believe this,” he said as he ran a hand through his long white locks. Toward the back of his neck, however, his hand came to a screeching halt. The screeching, however, was issuing from Rehtul’s mouth, not from his hand. His hair felt burned, frayed, completely destroyed and covered in frizz, even through the leather glove he wore.

”What the hell happened to my hair?!”

The screech carried out around him, silencing even the howling winds around him. Light blue energy crept into his eyes, brightening them to the point where they almost seemed to glow with a supernatural energy. Silently, the man gripped the walking stick he had made more tightly, feeding his anger into the small ice construct as he stared at the sky with a look that would have frozen even his father in fear.

With a sigh, he turned toward the young woman and said, more for his benefit than hers, “If those monks can’t fix this...” He let the threat hang idly in the air.

Sighing, he finally brought his temper under control and resumed his mask of serenity as he looked at the young woman, Felicity.

“If you would like to call the battle off, young lady, that would be most kind of you. I fear I underestimated two things today, you and Mother Nature. I should learn to take the ladies a little more seriously, I suppose,” he said, laughing at his terrible joke.

“Thank you.”

Flamebird
06-30-15, 01:24 PM
Felicity didn't even catch the bad joke. She just smiled, "You'we wewcome."

In the pouring rain, she had to shout. "Monks! Stop the match! Take cawe of Owouge! Pwease?"

Like that, the entire setting disintegrated like vastly melted snow. For a moment, it was all black. A soaked Felicity shivered as she remained on her knees. Seconds later, the light came back...


~~~

Felicity had been thoroughly dried and cured of the cold. She had a case of frostbite. It had been nothing the wonderful monks couldn't handle. They also mended her now bandaged cheek. Now, a refreshed Felicity was sitting next to the bed where her former opponent lay. The cage flashed again in her mind, as well as the smile he gave her when she asked if she could call the match.

She was confused. There had been moments where she had seen good in him, yet, she had to be honest. The cage had frightened her. She knew he had not known of her fear, so if it was anyone's fault for her freaking out...

.... it was herself.

Felicity wanted to be strong. She knew she certainly had skill and strength. However, how good was it if she lost control like that? She sighed. Yes, she was strong, but she was still a student. How would Ashla have replied to her giving into fear like that? She never saw her brave mentor get pulled into fright like that. Felicity sighed, had she let her teacher down?

Felicity's flew up again when she heard Orlouge move.

Rehtul Orlouge
06-30-15, 10:47 PM
Rehtul looked up from the bed, finally waking from the magically induced sleep that the monks had put him under. He groaned as he pulled himself to a sitting position. The old men had done their job, however, and fixed everything physically wrong with him. He sighed as he pulled his hair over his shoulder and looked down at the ends. They were split.

Rolling his eyes, he at least thanked the Thayne that they’d been able to save a majority of his hair from the same fate that his ends had suffered. He reached out to the end table next to him and grabbed up one of his gloves. He slipped it on and concentrated on the very minimal amount of water in the room, particularly the wash basin on the other side of the room. It flew through the air and into his hands, coalescing into a very familiar shape, that of a straight razor.

The young man started humming to himself as he began to cut the dead ends off of his hair, a chore that had become second nature to him as his hair had continued to extend further and further down his back over the past few months since the last hair cut he’d been talked into. A smile crossed his lips as he lovingly caressed the silken tresses that graced his head, the single greatest source of pride in his physical appearance.

As he turned to pull another piece of his hair to his lap for the razor treatment, he caught a flash of red in his peripheral vision. He jumped nearly high enough to smash his head on the fourteen foot high ceiling and collapsed back onto the bed, the razor flying to the other side of the room and shattering on the large wooden door across from him.

“Thayne preserve me,” he muttered, just loud enough to be heard. He looked over and discovered that it was indeed Felicity sitting next to him, in a small wooden chair often reserved for visitors to the monks’ medical wing. He smiled as he lay back on the bed and looked at her.

“You’re still here, then?” he asked. “I’d have thought you’d move on to greener pastures after being patched up. Our battle certainly wasn’t satisfying or fun... for either of us.” He could feel the young woman had been worried about him, but the monks had never once failed to revive someone who had been killed on Citadel grounds before. His own injuries were meaningless by comparison.

Why had she stayed?

Flamebird
07-01-15, 09:46 PM
"Uh... wew..."Felicity stammered in her seat for a moment, both amused and nervous about watching Orlouge after he woke up. The kid sighed, "I shouwdn't of fweaked out wike that. I'm sowwy."

She was referencing the cage. She shuddered, remembering the chill of the entire arena. "The battwe? 'Ife is fuw of wet downs." She looked back at Orlouge with one of her confident smirks, "Stiw, nice match."

Her smirk faded again, she still had questions about the ice. In fact...

"You'we diffewent than my mento'. She just goes fuw bwast destoying evewything, but you... you had pwetty ice there. How did you achieve it?"

Felicity had worked hard, training and practicing her skills by both reading books and slaying dummies. She gained the ability to become stronger every time blood was drawn from her skin. Ashla had taken a tremendous part in that, guiding her towards finding the power within herself. Felicity indeed had raw power, like her mentor before her, but delicate skill like that? Felicity was hardly a girly girl, but seeing such beauty in a learned skill caught her interest. This man obviously knew enough that he had a reason to underestimate her - still not a good reason, but a reason none the less.

Rehtul Orlouge
07-01-15, 11:20 PM
Rehtul smiled at the young woman. The longer he spent in her company, the more he began to understand her strange lisp. He could tell that she was truly a good person at heart, which further confused him as to why she had decided to come to the Citadel. Was there something worth fighting for, something that she would give her life for, or something that she had to train for?

Sighing, he pushed himself up in the bed just enough to sit up and look the young woman in the eye as she asked her questions. It seemed that the person she called her mentor used a type of ice magic similar to his own, but one with much more ferocity, less control, and more outright offensive capabilities. The young man thought about his response and closed his eyes.

Once again he brought his power fully to bear upon the only significant source of water in the room, the wash bin next to the entry door. The water, clear and clean, rose from the bin and glided gently across the room to the young man’s outstretched hand and slowly wrapped itself into his palm before growing out. A small, ornate handle, with the appearance of a spiral column, stretched down from his clenched hand, and another, larger piece of the water flew out from the other side of his closed palm, wrapping around itself in an oval shape, decorated with waves and a small, clear pearl of the purest ice on top. A flat sheet of ice ran through the center of the oval, making for a highly polished reflective surface.

Rehtul held the mirror in front of the young girl’s face, allowing her to see her own reflection and see the intricate work he had put into the piece. He wrapped the creation in a towel and laid it down on the bed next to him.

“To answer your question, I trained for years to gain this level of mastery, since my fifteenth birthday, around your age, I’d wager. As an Orlouge, it was deemed my responsibility to become great at something, so I chose the world of elemental magics, following roughly the same path that my own father had before me.”

One corner of his mouth rose high enough to almost touch his ear as he chuckled darkly.

“I doubt I’ll ever match the man, though. He helped design many of the magical systems in use within this very building.”

He looked at the woman and handed her the mirror, still wrapped in its protective towel, and frowned.

“The fact of the matter is, I was trained to treat every magic delicately, like a sculptor working with fine marble, or a painter applying the brush to his canvas. Everything I do has a touch of the artistic to it, because I find aesthetics pleasing. It’s also good practice for developing a fine-tuned control of one’s magic, where you could...”

With a wry grin, he pulled droplets of water from the air itself and formed it into a long, thin needle, which he shot at the door. In moments, it landed in the lock on the door and began pulling more moisture from the air, and took the shape of a slightly ornate key. With a flick of his wrist, the young Orlouge turned the lock in the handle and then formed the ice around the handle before having it jiggle up and down, demonstrating that it was locked.

Chuckling, he unlocked the door once more and turned to the woman.

“Do not be confused... Ice has a multitude of uses beyond brute force. For those who think, it can be a weapon of unlimited variety.”

Flamebird
07-03-15, 01:29 PM
Felicity stared at the ice mirror, wrapped up in a cloth. She had never seen something like this before. She looked up at Orlouge uncertainty shining in her eyes.

"Ashwa has aways towd me about postuwe and timing, but... this is honestwy new." the apprentice had chuckled lightly in these words, "She aways tews me that if I focus within mysewf, I wiw find evewything I need."

She leaned back in her chair, thinking back, "I guess... I'm the type of person who just weans on power awone." Felicity crossed her arms, "Avwough... I'm just stawting to twain."

Felicity considered, this young started a year later than her. Did it really take that long for him to get this good? Her chair moaned as she sat up again, hands on her bare knees. The Orlouge family, she had never heard of. The fact that this guy came from such a fanciful family tree was intriguing. The quiet room, only enlightened by their two voices and the ice magic, was a perfect class room.

And Orlouge was today's teacher.

"Ashwa sent me hewe to leawn," Felicity commented, "And I guess I have..."

Rehtul Orlouge
07-03-15, 07:41 PM
Rehtul listened to the young woman explain her reasons for actually being here. It was closer to his assumptions about the girl than he had at first expected. Apparently, she was still quite new to the art of battle, and had only just recently started honing her own technique under this “Ashla” person, whom Rehtul had never heard of. Unless, of course the young woman was talking about Ashla Icebreaker of Eiskalt. Word of the unease in that particular country didn’t always fall on deaf ears in the other regions.

Nah, she couldn’t mean that woman, he thought. Silently, he ran his hand through his long, silken hair and frowned, thinking of the possibilities that someone who had been renowned as something of a hero had sent someone who was little more than a child to the Citadel. Rehtul did not doubt the young lady’s abilities, but the thought of sending someone who hadn’t reached majority by any country’s standards into a battlefield willingly, even for training...

That thought struck a nerve with him that he did not particularly like.

He continued to brush his hair with his fingers as he thought of the reasons a person would have to train someone to defend themselves, especially in so harsh a manner. Sighing, he brought his hands down to rest on his lap as he looked at the young woman, his blue eyes meeting her own deep green and smiled lightly. Whatever the reasons for her being in the Citadel, she had come of her own volition, and that is what was most important. No one could be forced to fight in the Citadel against their will. It was simply against the policy of the monks. Whatever else had transpired to bring the young woman here, nothing could override that simple fact.

“You did the best you could in the face of danger, and for that I commend you. Wouldn’t exactly go out of my way to pick that arena again, but... I’ve been studying the Citadel, learning what there is to know about what goes on here, and why it is so popular. I’m still learning, but I’m beginning to piece together exactly what it is about the place where you can die and yet still live that makes this place as popular as it is. I just need to figure out a few more things before I decide whether I want to continue coming here or not.”

The look on his face said that he was more interested in returning here and fighting than he would openly admit. A passive, almost emotionless look passed over his face as he considered his next words carefully.

“So, this Ashla... Is she the one called Ashla Icebreaker, of Eiskalt?” he asked.

Flamebird
07-03-15, 08:09 PM
Felicity smiled as he spoke, he talked of the magics of the Citadel. Felicity's green eyes blinked in confusion, why would one be so worried about the Citadel? What puzzled her even more was when he asked for the identity of her mentor.

Felicity smiled and nodded, "Who ewse? Ashwa is amazing!" She rocked back into her chair, getting carried away talking in her hyper nature. "She picked me up when I faiwed to join the Cowone Wanga's. Said she saw potential they didn't." Felicity chuckled, looking back at their early sparing sessions, "I was compwete junk at first, but Ashwa guided me up! It's thanks to hew I know evewything I do. She gave me guidwines and wet me find my unique stywe." Felicity looked at Orlouge with a smirk, "And 'I wet you know, I'm unique."

A chuckle escaped her, more memories of her bumpy start taking over. "When she towd me to twy the Citadel out, I could hawdy wait! I enjoy the rush of battwe and the action, 'ya know!" the apprentice shrugged, "It wets me wewease my steam."

Felicity looked at the wrapped mirror again. She hoped she could find elegance like that in her fighting style someday, even if she was more straight and destructive in her preferred style. She planned on asking Icebreaker back home.

Felicity admired that mirror. The innocent teen wondered, would even a total stranger let her maybe borrow such a beautiful object? What would it take to get it? Felicity was always quite snappy and a bit weird in her communication, but she knew how to be polite. She would wait for a good time to ask about it. Meanwhile, her gaze went back up to Orlouge as he replied her.

Rehtul Orlouge
07-03-15, 08:58 PM
(OOC: Bunny approved by Flamebird)

The young man shook his head at Felicity’s response, especially about being unable to wait to jump into combat within the Citadel. Something about the way that she pursued the activities to be found within with such gusto threw him for a loop, however. Sighing, he stood up and slipped himself off of the bed. As his bare feet touched the cold stone floor, he smiled and stretched his arms over his head before allowing them to fall to either side.

“I must admit, it feels pretty good to be able to get up and stroll out of here after even something like that happens,” he said easily. He sat down on the foot of the bed, his back turned to the young girl as he considered carefully his next words. He had been schooled and taught by, and had even ended up being forced to fight many of the more experienced members of his family in mock battles and even some not-so-mock battles. He knew how it was to be pushed into training, to be forcefully given lessons in how to control your power, or even in how to learn to fight. He could feel the young woman wanted nothing more than to impress the woman, Ashla.

Sighing, he admitted silently to himself that he had never met the woman, Ashla, before. There were rumors floating around that some really screwy things had been happening in that country, but without substantiated proof, the young man didn’t even know what to think on the matter. He touched the spot on his robe where the burn mark had been and frowned. He had been struck by lightning and could easily walk away. If the magic contained within this facility were made available to people the world over, there could be so much in the world that could be fixed, just from a humanitarian standpoint.

He chuckled at the thought and turned back to face the young woman.

“Your teacher must have a lot of faith in your abilities to send you out here like that. The ability to fight any opponent you want, to grow your skills, to become better than you’ve ever thought possible... That is what this place allows for, and if that is why you are here, you are obviously in the exact right place. Allow yourself to learn from each battle, consider each opponent a teacher, and you will go far,” he said. His eyes narrowed as his voice fell to a much deeper tone, barely audible.

“Never stop learning. There is no limit to the amount of knowledge you can gain. I could live a million lifetimes and never know everything there is to know about magic, and that’s a fact.”

He stood up, arched his back just enough for it to pop satisfyingly a number of times, and turned toward the door.

“I’ll walk you out. I think the next time we fight, we should do so on solid land. Whaddya say?” he asked, winking at the young girl as he opened the large wooden door. He patted the stone bricks of the wall with one hand before slipping out.

“You can keep the mirror by the way,” he said simply as the young woman walked along only a step behind him. “It won’t melt unless I will it to.”

Flamebird
07-05-15, 02:42 PM
Felicity's eyes lit up as she was told to keep the mirror without even asking. Size grabbed the mirror, still wrapped up in its yellow cloth, and raced out after Orlouge. The hyper teen saluted him, grinning from ear to ear. She hadn't caught his discomfort over her mentor at all, "I wiw twain, siw!" She dropped her salute a bit more militaristic, "I wiw twain."

Even with the one or two people in the crowded hall who looked at her funny, she smiled. She was young, but she was strong. A history of abuse made her stronger, immune to the pain. At Orlouge's suggestion, she would grow even better than before. Final line, she liked Orlouge a lot now. He actually taught her a lot. As they walked side by side to the exit through fanciful, stone halls; she smirked, eyes sparkling with mischief. "I'w beat you fo' suwe next time."

She stopped, grabbing the mirror with both hands. As people came and went, the sounds of many footsteps and voices coming, Felicity gave her former opponent a much more earnest expression. "Thank you."

Felicity fixed the cool haired Orlouge with another smile. She then realized that even She through the cloth, the mirror felt cold. Her smile dropped into a childish frown, she looked up at him again. "Shouwd I get a handew?"

Rehtul Orlouge
07-05-15, 03:48 PM
As the young woman spoke of beating him next time, the young Mystic merely smiled and shrugged his shoulders. He stopped in the middle of the hallway and leaned against a wall, considering everything that would be going on over the next few days. He still had his access to the Citadel for quite some time yet, and there was still much to observe and theorize about. There had to be some reason that people kept showing up at the massive building, itching for a fight, and he was determined to discover it. If he could figure that out, he could finally decide for himself whether he would be returning here to continue his self-imposed combat training or not.

The young girl looked uncomfortable holding the mirror and he shrugged as she mentioned getting a handle for the item and then nodded.

“It wouldn’t be a particularly bad idea to make sure that you could hold the item if you want to. I’d suggest wood or ivory for the handle, but depending on your personal finances, that could be difficult. Do what you think you have to in the meantime,” he said as he continued to lean easily against the wall.

With that said, he turned back toward the large doors of the Citadel and walked up to them, stopping just as his hand met the massive stone. He sighed and turned back to the young lady once more, eyes unblinking, and said, “If you want to beat me... train as hard as you can. I will be doing the same. I promise you the next time we meet, there will be many differences in our attack styles compared to where we stand right now.”

With that, he turned back around and pushed the doors open. He walked out onto the busy streets of Radasanth, his hand resting lightly at his side. As he walked away from the building, already wishing that his next visit were upon him, anyone who watched him would see small amounts of electricity dancing between his fingers before he closed his fist and took off purposefully down the crowded street, eyes set sternly on the horizon.

“I’ll be back soon, but I wonder if I’m in the right by continuing to visit this monstrous construct of magic and stone,” he whispered to himself as he walked home.

He knew there was no easy answer, and the only way to truly know would be to continue training here until he had his definitive answer. He just didn’t know what form that answer would take.

Flamebird
07-05-15, 07:05 PM
Felicity watched Orlouge leave. His casual suggestion to get a handle pales in comparison to what he said about if she wanted to beat him...

Her face hardened as he left, knowing how serious he was. As he left the massive Citadel, she clenched her fists. She always was intent on training more. Orlouge's words bolstered her resolve though. The growing child had to become stronger.

She was alone in a crowded hall. The thudding of feet against the stone floor, the whispers of those who passed by, the heat radiating off their moving bodies. Felicity just stood there for a moment. Her hands softened as she stared at the exit way. She turned smoothly back the way she came, for another fight. Few things lingered in her mind.

I'll make you proud, Ashla. And Orlouge, you'd better train hard! I'll be ready...

The young woman, still carrying her mirror, stalked confidently towards the closest monk. The confidence she carried was not light. A background of pain bolstered a stronger will from the redhead. Segregation and exclusion taught her what not to do, and how to react to it. Now the apprentice of one talented ice user, and carrying a gift from another, Felicity Knopsnider had everything she'd need to climb higher up the ladder she set up for herself.

All she had to do was start climbing.


This thread is done! I request the ice mirror, with a metal handle, as a spoil. It can only be destroyed in heavy combat or at Rehtul's will.

Philomel
07-23-15, 02:39 PM
Thread Title: You Sunk My Battleship! (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?29614-You-Sunk-My-Battleship!
)
Judgment Type: Full Rubric
Participants: Rehtul Orlogue vs Flamebird

Careful consideration was taken in this judging as the thread was both a battle and a quest, and was noted as such by the judgees in the judgement request. It is judged in the format of a battle as it is within the Citadel forum, and scores are based thus, though rewards are slightly manipulated because of the quest format.

This thread was also incredibly hard to judge. At first when I did scores you were both level pegging. It was so incredibly close there is little next to nothing between you two. It was a really great thread and I enjoyed reading it so much.


Plot: 19 --- 20

Story- 7/10---7/10

Both: The story here was both exhilarating, and teaching. You did together what is very rarely done in a battle story - you wrote a well rounded tale that became something of a story complete with very powerful character development that also revealed more about your characters. The small details - such as Rehtul’s obsession with his hair from post 9 to 11 (ish) and Felicity’s inability to deal with the “cage” in post 8 - merely strengthened your story. You had both of them make friends with their combatant (each other) despite the fact they were competitors for violence in this battle. So many well dones here. The only thing that was really odd was that the tone very definitely changed in the middle, and in this way it was a very weird ethereal story. Consider adding some flashbacks to the fighting, and this could tie in once more your sense of story.

Rehtul: Aside from the “both” comment you did really well here. You had moments of real tension and then moments of pure hilarity: “Did I just get struck my lightning?” in post 9. What you did well was to ease into the calmer second half of the piece by having the sudden strike of lightning. This gave a new voice, a sudden shocking pause in the adventure.

Flamebird: Your strengths in this piece were beginning and ending well. You had a particularly strong introduction and gave a good view of both the innocent and fighting (rage like) sides of your character. Like a gentle giant Felicity clearly is a loveable character, and you make the reader want to get to know her more. Only criticisms here are that you could have made your posts longer, but that is more a structural issue.

Setting- 6/10---6/10

Rehtul: You opened with setting dramatically well, highlighting in close detail the colour of the ship and how it was lodged in the decks. This was particularly striking, with notes of colour etc, and a good mention of how useful water is to you. A good base of technique was used here, and overall you mentioned setting throughout, using the weather as an active directive for your plot. In general you did seem to become more focused on the action as time when on - after the lightning stuck setting was left to the side and less important in the rooms of healing in the Citadel than the battle arena. Try to keep up the same energy when switching scenes and try adding other senses into your description of your setting - exploring smell, taste of salt in the air etc.

Flamebird: You have a really good strong introduction to your piece, with a good view of the water and the area, focusing on how your character interacts with the scenery. There is a lot of attention on her and it is clear that she is the centre of perspective - however, a note of caution here. At times it can become that your central character can drown out everything else in taking centre stage. Just be careful of balancing. You do move well from scene to scene, despite the fact it was not easy for it was not you who went unconscious, overall you write well. Encouragement here to explore use of different senses - try to imagine the sound of the waves lapping against the wood and your writing will improve.

Pacing- 6/10---8/10

Rehtul: Pacing in general was good. Strengths include a good measure of action and a good ease from scene to scene, going from the fighting to the aftermath of the quest-like part of the thread. What could be improved up in general is your actions - sometimes you do get carried away and try to do a lot in a post. Overall this is a better thread than some of your other more confusing battle threads but this point can affect pacing. Pacing was fast at the beginning and slowed down more or less well, but it was a wee bit too jarring. Try to be smoother, and even make the difference between more obvious. You did have a very well placed climax and denouement, so congratulations here.

Flamebird: Your pacing was essentially almost perfect. Despite not being the central character in the pause (i.e. the strike of lightning in post 9-10 ish) you held your character together well and smoothly slid from one part into another. Overall this judge was very impressed by your pacing and how it joined with Rehtul’s in order to bring about a great story. You could perhaps make your posts somewhat longer - you certainly have the space and capacity to do so but no marks are taken off for this as it's one way to expand and is not necessarily a weakness here.



Character: 22 --- 22

Communication- 8/10---8/10

Rehtul: You carry your character and his traits well with a strong voice that is consistent. His way of speaking has actually changed slightly from when this judge first met him, which is particularly powerful as it shows character development on a small detailed level - he seems to have lost something of his nobility that used to be contained within. He has angry moments such as “what the hell happened to my hair?” in post 11, and you correctly and effectively use emboldened font in these times to emphasise such. Other emotions are portrayed well and flow with the time. Very little to complain about here.

Flamebird: One cannot comment here without mentioning Felicity’s speech impediment. It is both adorable and unique and you use it well. Rehtul did use reactions against it in post 3 which merely intensifies the impact of your use of it. The terminology also that she uses is in keeping with her character, with a great deal of “I’m sowwys” and polite ways without any swearing or harsh words towards the opposite party. You also kept it steadily constant which was powerful in itself. The only holdback is that at points it can be difficult to understand what Felicity is saying, such as “stiw” in post 14, but these are mostly individual words and one can get the meaning in the context, but just a note here as this can affect clarity a little.

Action-7/10---6/10

Rehtul: Your actions are well defined and purposeful and you have a very good way of carrying them through. Rehtul also has a way of holding himself, which is perhaps a hint at his aristocratic past (see communication). There is anger in him by the way he “screamed” in post 5 and his actions relay this, not just the ways he speaks, which is very hard to do for even the best of writers at times. Actions are by far your most used of Character attributes and you do use them well, but one word of warning - a good balance of such techniques makes a good writer and it would be good to see you expand more into persona some.

Flamebird: Felicity’s actions simplify exemplify her character. She is part neanderthal, that is known, and you do mention this, and also she is excessively naive and innocent, perhaps largely due to her age and mistreatment. Sometimes you do miss opportunities - this judge saw maybe one mention of her ability to go into rage form because of her inheritance - where you could really have used your individuality. You have the potential - use it!

Persona- 7/10---8/10

Rehtul: What you do particularly well is intertwine your characters thoughts in with action, in a smooth way that adds a great amount to your writing. It reads well and inter-joins with your normal action. “No… way… he thought as he looked up into the sky above,” post 9 is particularly a strong example. From here what could be done to improve is to begin to use indirect thought, like indirect speech, to express thoughts that intertwine with stories of the background of your character and so on. You do do this a little, in mentioning Rehtul’s father, but further development can be made here.

Flamebird: Your strengths here lie in combining your characters thinking into your normal sentences, such as your list ending in “check” in post 2. This gives a sense, at the beginning of the thread, of the idea of the character, that continues well. Though you perhaps do not use as much direct thought as some writers (and this can be a place where you consider developing from) you already have a good hold of who your character is and show her mind through your writing. Your conversational tone adds to this, and even reminds the reader of the youngness of the character herself. You receive also lots of kudos and marks for going back in time in post 8 and directly connecting a scene from Felicity’s past to what is going on now (the cage), a scene that ends of making her weep and tremble and leads into the next part of your battle-quest.



Prose: 20 --- 20

Mechanics- 7/10---6/10

Rehtul: Really nothing much to say here. Spelling errors were not to be seen, not in any obvious way, and paragraphing was exceedingly well done, better than some of your pieces in the past has been - therefore congratulations on improvement! The only advice would be to perhaps be more experimental with your punctuation, in use of not just full stops and so on, but bring in more ellipses etc that you have used in speech.

Flamebird: Similar to Rehtul here, there were no obvious spelling mistakes. There was a word missing in post 12; “Felicity’s flew up again when she heard Orlouge move,” where there should be something between “Felicity’s” and “flew” and no obvious clue could be found in the contexting sentences. A small read over can help this often. Aside from this you were really strong in your writing. Again, similar to Rehtul, encouragement here to start exploring the more unusual punctuation, that will help your writing to go to the next level.

Clarity- 6/10---7/10

Rehtul: Clarity over all was good but a little unsteady. In the beginning of the thread, when all was tense, there was some need to read over parts again to properly understand some of what was going on - but only a couple of times. You do stuff a lot of detail into your pieces, and sometimes this can get in the way of clarity. An easy way to ease this is to read your posts back to yourself, out loud, and check the ease of reading them yourself. Aside from this understanding the overall plot was not difficult, and your great paragraphing helped to convey it clearly.

Flamebird: As mentioned in communication, your only real hindrance to clarity was some words in Felicity’s speech that hinder understanding. What you need to develop is a way of keeping this individuality but also writing clearly. Such a way could be to not have both “r”s and “l”s coming through as “w” but this is just a suggestion. Apart from this point clarity was excellent, with bold statements and an easy-to-read thread.

Technique- 7/10---7/10

Rehtul: You do have a beautiful way of describing some things, especially ice. It is not surprising as you do write about ice a lot, as it is central to Rehtul’s powers. Post 7 has a remarkable amount of description from you, starting with the list of shapes and onwards to discuss the light. Even the description of the mirror in its delicate way is truly well done. You could in general make more use of linguistic techniques such as metaphor etc, but you already have a very good base that sets you off on good stead.

Flamebird: You have a very simple way of describing that is different to Rehtul in a way that it is very direct. However, for your character this actually works surprisingly well. For in your, to quote your own words, “childlike awe” there is a gorgeous simple beauty,. You could make use of more technique such as imagery, and expand your idea of a haunted past with this, and so here is room to growth. However, very well done overall.



Wildcard: 7 --- 7

Wildcard cannot go to anything here but making a truly marvellous battle-quest amalgamation. Certainly it was beautiful. Thank you guys for the honour of reading it.



Final Score: 68---69

Flamebird (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?18285-Flamebird) Wins!:


1250 EXP!
165 GP!

Congratulations!

Rehtul Orlogue (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?14301-Rehtul-Orlouge) Receives:


500 EXP! **
165 GP!


** In light of this being a battle-quest the amount for the "loser" has been raised higher for this judgement.

Lye
08-04-15, 02:20 PM
EXP & GP Added