Makeover!

[Twisted Infinitum]

((Requesting Moonlit Raven. This is part of a quest, so no exp please.))

The door creaked open to welcome... something... from the late-afternoon glare of the crowded Bazaar street. It was shaped like a man, a rather short feather-weight, and swaddled in a black cloak with more dirt than fabric. The only hint as to what lay underneath was within the deep bowels of the hood where there was situated a single large orb of orange light where a man's left eye would be. The thing hobbled past racks of dresses and suits as if it had one leg shorter than the other, and its wobbly course carried it to the shopkeeper's counter like a dark specter of ill omens.

Once there, the thing fixed its eye upon the shopkeeper and raised both arms behind its head. Then, it ripped them forward, taking the garment from its back amid the creak of wood and the noxious cloud of travel scents; specifically, mildew, dried earth, and a faint hint of animal leavings. The cloak slapped heavily upon the counter as the creature announced "Trade in!" in a voice like wagon wheels running over gravel.

It was now completely naked, which turned all the dark mystery it once had into vomit-inducing confusion. The right side of the thing was a beat-up wooden mannequin with exposed gears at the joints and a dark pit where the eye should have been, while the left side was what would happen if a ghost were turned to dense gelatin, complete with cloudy organs visible through the flesh and a looming bulb of an orange eye set in front of the brain.

"Hot new threads," clicked the creature as, with the two halves working disconcertingly together, it wobbled over to the rack of cloaks along the wall.

[Moonlit Raven]

The spectacle of the figure that approached the counter then promptly dumped a foul smelling cloak on my counter surprised me into speechlessness. I could feel my lips drawing back in a snarl of disdain. I watched it for a moment as it wobbled between shelves and racks and hoped that it had the gold to cover what it wanted. If not, I was going to find out how well it would burn.

Gingerly, with the tips of two fingers I picked up the cloak. As I studied it I wondered how it was still mostly intact. The threads were fraying and worn, in some places dried mud held rips in the fabric closed.

"Kale! Gorv!" I called to my helpers. When the two young boys arrived I handed the cloak over with instructions to burn it and take a bath afterwards. Some thing dropped from a hidden pocket in the cloak and clattered on the floor as the boys carted away the filthy thing. Curiosity and courtesy prodded me to pick up the object and examine it.

As soon as my hand closed on the object I knew by the familiar shape that it was a knife and sheathe. Shaking my head, I laid it on a shelf behind the counter and went to follow the odd creature. I was slightly concerned about its unsteady walk. Some of the items it passed were made of delicate fabrics and if it fell I was certain that they would be torn.

[Twisted Infinitum]

The hands, both wood and squishy, wandered through the garments, tugging each one out from the row long enough to examine, then letting it sway back dismissively. "Icky. Cheapo. Wrinkly," chirped the construct as it left the hanging cloaks in disarray behind it.

Then, it pulled out one that was suitably black and expensive looking. The wooden hand pulled the cloak right off the rack by the sleeve, and the clear hand dug about in the neck. "100 percent Sifan," it read from the tag after a considerable delay, "River washable."

"Yay!" it suddenly burst out in a higher tone and threw its arms up in the air. The cloak billowed upward and sailed toward the helpful shopkeeper. The construct then fumbled along the wooden side of its chest until the click of a latch releasing filled the shop.

What fell out of the sudden opening wasn't organs or cedar chips. No, it was gold! More gold than anyone without a death wish should carry around in the streets of Radasanth. It spilled like a waterfall onto the floor between the woman and the wooden humanoid, forming a gleaming pile ankle high and wide enough to have a picnic on. "Gisela winnings," said the construct with the barest hint of pride, and it slammed its chest shut.

After a few seconds in which it seemed to be listening intently to something, the creature broke the uncomfortable mood caused by so much free-roaming money, and it did so with a shopping list of demands. "Orange thread. Make pretty." It pointed to a displayed cloak with delicate needlework at the edges like the fanciful borders on royal parchment. "Go with eye."

"Four pockets. Two inside, two outside." It pointed at random places on its body as if it didn't really know what it was talking about. "Spidersilk thread inside to keep stuff from falling out when flying," it added with a bizarre arm motion that seemed a bit like a firing catapult. Then it finished with, "Dagger go left inside pocket."

With that, the creature turned on one creaking heel and made for the door. "Bake on roof until done," it said over its shoulder as it wobbled outside. Cries of fear immediately burst through the crowd, but even that couldn't mute the noise the creature made as it rounded the side of the building and climbed over garbage, fencing, and drainage pipes to get to the sun-hot shingles.

[Moonlit Raven]

I opened my mouth soundless and indignant as the odd creature pulled things out of place, rumpled cloth and insulted my wares in its odd growling, clicking voice. I wanted to reach out and straighten things but I hesitated getting that close to something so strange and, gooey.

As soon as I heard it say Sifan I opened my mouth to protest once more to suggest that perhaps it would like something in Vlince. Surely this, this, creature would not appreciate higher qualities of material.

"Now hold on, it may be river washable..." I caught the cloak as it fluttered towards me and grabbed it be the seams to prevent wrinkling. I watched vaguely horrified as it started to wrench its chest open. Instead of the organs I half expected to fall out instead bright and shinning gold spilled on the ground. I stared at the gold and nodded mutely as it explained the gold.

"Yeah, sure, Gisela." I parroted, a moment later it sank in. Gisela? This thing won a place high enough in Gisela to win all of this gold? Bemused and slightly dazed I watched and listened, with all of the gold spilled on the floor beside us I was certain that there was more than enough to cover the cost of the expensive material and what ever decorative additions it wanted.

Laying the cloak carefully on top of a near by rack I gathered up the gold and placed it in several sacks until I figured out just how much this cloak was going to cost. Already I was figuring well over 4000 gold pieces for the cloak alone. Add pockets, embroidery and sticky spider silk and the price just went higher. As the half puppet walked out I turned the sign on my door and close the door. Until I was done with this order my shop was closed. Ignoring the rattling thumps moving up the outside of my walls I set too with a needle, scraps of spidersilk, more sifan cloth and orange thread.

[Twisted Infinitum]

The crowd thinned outside the windows as the day progressed and the loss of light stole a bit of beauty from the fabrics by the door. That area lay unusually empty as the shoppers veered from the door's 'closed' sign with mild to moderate disgruntlement. That is, until the creature on the roof decided it was time.

With a crash and the mewling of alley cats, a frantic scuttle around the building, and the usual screams from the passerbys, the door flew open. The construct churned forward between the racks like a man possessed and bumped to a halt at the counter. The hands that gripped the edge would have been white knuckled if the thing's biology would have allowed it.

Yet the haste seemed fake, or at least dull, when it spoke. "Done yet?" it asked so blankly it almost wasn't a question. "Hot date tonight." Before the creature could explain why it was going on a date, presumably with someone willing, it became distracted by the evening sun shapes that moved slowly over the back wall.

[Moonlit Raven]

The day passed slowly as I carefully stitched the pockets in, then after a thought I reinforced the stitching. Placing the spider silk along one wall of the pockets was easily enough done though I wondered how the automation would reach for things in the pockets.

I was placing the last few stitches on the rather ordinary ivy like vine that hugged the edges of the cloak when the door flew open and the creature lurched in. From his place by my feet Kale got up and went to close the door. I wasn't sure I wanted to ask what exactly IT meant by 'hot date'. After a moment I decided that ignorance would keep me sane longer and simply nodded. Quickly I finished the last stitch and laid the cloak for 'him?', it to grab. Along side the cloak I laid the sheathed knife and what was left of the gold.

"The cloak was 4750 gold, the pouch is what's left of your gold. Have a..." I cut my normal polite talk short as the gooey puppet thing was already half out the door, cloak on and the knife and gold in hand.

"That was, odd, and rude. Kale you get to watch Gorv to night. I think I'm going out for a drink tonight. Maybe even three." I added as an after thought.



Transaction complete. Twisted Infinitum loses 4750 GP for a cloak that Edgar will undoubtedly ruin within a week. No EXP!